I lived in two different apartments. This first half of quotes was from the year I lived at 57th&Telegraph, which entails a number of unpleasant mental associations, the least of which involves seeing random people emerge from the carport carrying an axe.
Finally I have a PA I can cruise with!-HRH Queen Matt Gilbertson of Risley
...awesome hinge mechanism!-Tom
There's nothing wrong with (them) that some Prozac and a polo mallet won't cure-Woody
Allen
Eat it fuckface-New Testament, "the Lost Chapter"(found by jsh)
pink square-Mark#2
Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers-Ladle Rat
Rotten Hut
Are vampires' needs anymore shocking than the needs of other animals and men? Are his
deeds more outrageous than the deeds of the parent who drains the spirit from his child?
The vampire may foster quickened heartbeats and levitated hair, but is he worse than the
parent who gives to society a neurotic child who becomes a politician?-Richard
Matheson, I am Legend
She's made you some kind of laughingstock/because you dance to disco and you don't
like rock-PSB
I know a lot about grass: if you roll around in it a lot, it itches.-Ron, genius
You, my dearest child, should know better than to let the evil and corrupting influences of
men with their vile and debaucherous vices hold sway over you, for once they have
tainted you pure, innocent, virginal being, these men will leave you for dead amongst the
rabble and riff-raff of this world
or not, as the case may be.-ezkinc
And thus were born those immortal words: I will take away thy ass peasant, for it is eating
my grass.-Prof. Keller on The Eloquent Peasant
Portend of the Artist as a Jung Mandala-Ad Rheinhardt
My coffee cup rules!-O-chem flakes
I want my nee-noons to be low.-Chris Atkins
Hush my darling, be still my darling/The lion's on the phone-TMBG
Speed kills. Don't meth around.-wall on the side of Amoeba Music
I got a straw right here pal! You want a demonstration?-the Tick
What's the matter, Harry? Cat got your mind?-Wild Palms
I believe this is yours.-me(1/17/94)
I'm not a stranger, I'm just someone you haven't met yet.-Darien Lambert on Time Trax
I sawed the legs off the periodic table-King Missile
We should sell dead ant farms.-Remi(1/94)
It's not PMS. I'm misanthropic.-bumper sticker
Now you be sure to dress warmly on those other planes of existence.-Dr. Beverly
The Crow family was not known for eating mice, but on the other hand, they were known
to eat anything else that came on hand.-Kalina reading from Little, Big
...although not so naive as Queen Tilli, who thought fellatio was an obscure Italian opera
and was annoyed that she couldn't find the score.
...Hostess Twinkies always travel in pairs--because like the coyote, the killer whale, the
gorilla, and the whooping crane, Hostess Twinkies mate for life.
The lung of the smoker is a naked virgin thrown as a sacrifice into the godfire.-Still Life with
Woodpecker, Tom Robbins, of course
Go to MacArthur BART and piss on the third rail.-SPIN=0
But a day without suicide is like a day without sunshine.-Dr. Gilbert "call me Sigmund"
Holtzmann[let me assert that this man is THE MOST arrogant excuse for a psychiatrist I have ever met in my life,
and that not only was he patronizing and smug, but he didn't have a single insightful thing to say.]
So we moved in the summer of '94 to a charming little (ahem) bugalow in Rockridge, I call 'Grandma Fifi's cottage' because it seems to fit(mostly) the description of the cottage from Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block with its pink and blue color scheme. We had a whole series of cool folks crash at our place including Julian, Erika, Bob, Angela and David. It was where Circle was held, back in the old days when it was still a thing to behold. And of course, it was the days of free Grace Bread...
"Is she alive?" "How old is she?" "Is she a submissive?" "Hey, it's different tape!" "How
much did you pay her man?"-various stupid people at Bondage-a-go-go
Where does he put it?-stupid people at the Amazon, Sacramento
Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop
problem.-Still Life with Woodpecker
Fist me Jesus/Whore of God-stab
Quick! Give me 500cc's of melanin!-Jack about Locutus
Hi boys and girls! I'm Danbert Nobacon. I'm the transvestite of the group.-Chumbawamba
Real men go to Vietnam.-Kalina
He could do great hand-puppets.-Ollie
I assume your handprint will open the door, whether you are conscious or not.-Data
I thought it was a tomato, but it was cauliflower.-Angela
...like rubbing a fuckin' Lincoln Log on your eye.-Julian on cheap eyeliner
she said has the Perrier gone straight to my head-the Smiths
You don't inspire a metric ton of trust-Kristen Hersh
It's curtains for the bathroom!-me&Ollie
Will someone please explain why the dry ice comes in vegetable wrappers?!-Eleanor &
me, the inquiring minds
-He's in shock.-Deanna
-I must say I am experiencing a similar sensation myself.-Data
I'm sorry I asked.-Ollie inquiring about when talc and cornstarch are interchangeable
Wanna buy some Spam?...Wanna buy some hashish?-Spam guy soliciting to Finn
Ran out of resolution!-everyone at Icon Byte
I'd have kittens with Data.-Kalina
-Welcome to the afterlife, Jean-Luc. You're DEAD.-Q
-...and I refuse to believe the afterlife is run by you. The universe is not so badly designed.-
Jean-Luc
Do you really believe J.S.Bach had a pet aardvark named Nigel?-Kalina
It was a noble effort, but it's becoming flaccid.-Rob, about tape measures(really!)
...if I get cancer, will you drive me to the hospital?-Morrissey, on smoking
Who is the loneliest monk?-Tabitha "MTV Intelligence" Soren
Well, they say the pen is mightier than the sword.-Ollie on marking lines on go boards
Killer chicken on the risers!-Lower School Chorus(5th grade)
Toothpicks to go with the hors d'oeuvres?-Rick
Ladies Sewing Club & Terrorist Society-Judge(and some chick in the Tenderloin)
Ohmigod! I have a mom!-Jim
How to organize a Tupperware gang-bang.-tape @ Villians
I don't see how you could like Marmite and not like chocolate and peanut butter.-Kalina
people could learn a lot from fruit...-Fruitopia ad
I'm starting to hate that term "lifestyle"--it's not a choice!-Scott, on parasitic algae
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.-Dorothy Parker
How dare he tell me that in Morocco, the goats live in trees!-Nick, outraged at the truth
Is PMS anything like hypoglycemia?-Scott, hypoglycemic
Polo is catching on in America now--it is another growth industry of the 90's along with
prisons, suicide and the organ donor trades.-Hunter S. Thompson
Oh you know me Frank, I have sex as often as we have a democrat for president.-Murphy
Brown
You see, in the early days of aikido, we used the moon, but we got in trouble for it
because we were messing up the tidal cycle.-Nick on why aikido masters use the Earth to
whack people
Gravity for men--more than just a fragrance, it's a force of nature.-ad for "Gravity" perfume
My fingers smell funny from handling Data.-Kalina
DON'T ASK WHAT FONT IT IS. IT'S MY HANDWRITING, YA DIMWIT.-Cometbus #32
-Do you really know Oscar Wilde?
-Not personally, but I know someone who could get you his fax number.-4 Weddings and
a Funeral
You know how some peole collect salt and pepper shakers? Well, some people collect
dead things. Personally, I never understood salt and pepper shakers.-Fox Mulder
-I'm from upstate New York.-Erika
-Oh, you mean like Yonkers?-some clue-lite tourist
No need to tie off baby. I have veins like a roadmap.-Finn
So he asks me, "Are you a virgin?" And I said, "Uh, no." So they threw some other chick
into the volcano.-Alissa Kozuh
975,000,000 picas:the distance from New York to San Francisco(thanks Ollie)
Dead is the ultimate phenotype.-Victor Boyartchuk('le nettoyer' of MCB)
-Kurt, what's tiramisou?
-Um, I dunno.
-WHAT?! You mean you're not gay?!-The Nanny
Hey Harry, keep that thermometer away from my cloaca!-jokes ecologists play on
herpetologists
I mean, if love means heart-shaped pasta...-Angela on Valentines Day at Market Hall
New York, where life is hard but the water is soft and California, where life is soft but the
water is hard.-unknown from an article on "Bicoastalism"
Bliss is ignorance.-me
I've become accustomed to being treated like a hypo spray-the Doctor
It's shirt cheese and cheese shirt--they've affected each other. It's a symbiotic relationship!-
Angela
BAM:What exactly do you mean on Dookie by "Welcome to Paradise"?
Green Day(in unison):West Oakland!
I need a cigarette after this bread...and some clean linen.-Jack, after experiencing Fred Bread